Everybody Knows This is No Blog

Oh haaaaai.

2010-03-07T14:47:00.001-08:00

Dear Wiz Khalifa: Wife me up plz?

(Yes Dylan, you were right)

spirit in the sky

2010-01-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

Officially twenty-five.
I have three goals for the next six months.
I was not made for northern winters.

Go on ahead without me, I have some things of my own to do.

it's been a while

2009-11-03T19:02:00.001-08:00

Basically I teach kiddies now and hangout with friends when I have the chance.

Words of advice:

Read - Margaret Atwood's "The Year of the Flood"
Listen to - The Band "Music from Big Pink"
Watch - "Badlands"

that is all.

second hand

2009-08-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

The World's Longest Yard Sale.
a four day affair.

Total Time Spents: appox. 16 hours.
Total Amount Spent: $18.75

Obtained Following Goodies:

keep it on the down low, nobody has to know

2009-07-26T12:30:00.000-07:00

summer slummer swummer scummer strummer.
but....oh those summer nights.

visited atlanta. got tattooed. got laid. got to see friends. got involved in a soul train dance line. trip a complete success.

"God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars."
-Elbert Hubbard

The most amazing thing ever happened at a bar in cincinnati this weekend. This older man came up to me after standing at the jukebox lurkin for a minute. The Neil Young song "Cowgirl in the Sand" starts playing, and he tells me "Babydoll, I had to play this song for you, because you seem to be exactly what Neil had in mind when writing it." I basically melted into the ground, told him he picked the perfect girl to use that line on, and contemplated marrying him for the rest of the evening. Player skillz.

Open Letter to O. Wilson

2009-06-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

Dearest Owen Wilson,

I want to give you trillions of hugs and kisses.
Sometimes you make me really sad, even in funny movies.
I don't know why that is. Please stop it.
You are much cuter than Luke, and your nose makes me melt.
I'm not even grossed out by the rumor that you kiss hookers on the mouth.

yours truly,

Tiffany

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition

2009-06-16T10:55:00.000-07:00

First things First: I am now a Licensed Driver.

My little brother's friends take my life hostage sometimes.

"A child of the nineteenth century would quickly go mad with fear, I think, in the world of today. It must have been pretty wonderful to have lived in the years, say, between 1870 and 1914, when peace was the normal condition and people really were appalled at the idea of war, and believed there'd never be a big one. A big one was impossible, they used to say. It would cost too much. It would disrupt world trade and bankrupt everybody. Even after the first World War people didn't accept war as normal. They had to call it the War to End War or we wouldn't have fought it. Helen, what has become of us?" - - Alas, Babylon

As a sidenote...I really can't wait to see this movie:

I miss ya, I miss ya, I really wanna kiss ya but I can't

2009-05-18T17:22:00.001-07:00

Number one: Jacob you have shown yourself. I love you. seriously.
"I'm not going to Kill Jacob, Ben, you are..."

my prediction for the next (and final) season: the unnamed enemy will be Jacob's brother and his name will be Esau.

Number two: I love good weather, and I love getting to enjoy it because I don't take care of the babies this week.

Number three: kentucky bbq's are officially my favorite thing about living here. I am going to be the cornhole champion by the end of the summer.

call me the breeze

2009-05-10T06:56:00.000-07:00

Visitors. Visitors. Visitors. Visitors. Visitors.
slumber party. good will hunting. the duel II.

"The joy of life consists in the exercise of one's energies, continual growth, constant change, the enjoyment of every new experience. To stop means simply to die. The eternal mistake of mankind is to set up an attainable ideal."
-Aleister Crowley

sugar sugar

2009-05-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

The past week has been pretty gnar in a good way.

I got to help the four women that sew the Kentucky Derby Rose blanket on Friday.

I'm making moneys. driving trucks. eating deer steaks.

Nathan and his friends that he is on tour with are coming to stay with me Thursday night. I am so excited. We are going to see the new Star Trek movie. Yayyyyy.

Two facts:

1) The internet is one of the most frustrating tools of all time ever, find out way too many things you don't care/want to ever know.

2) No matter how old you get, it always feels amazing when a basketball court full of high school boys stops the game to ask "Hey cutie you got a boyfriend?"

puppers and pretty blooms

2009-04-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

These are some of the Knockout Roses I've planted and the Raspberry Parfait Dianthus'....oh and my dog Prissi...who owns my heart always.

but I guess I'm already there

2009-04-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

activities as of late:

1. sunshine absorption (aka. lots a lake time)
2. driving
3. planting and gardening
4. creating and mending clothing
5. bbqing
6. planning and writing
7. rewatching twin peaks over and over

I kinda twitter now ---- @darling_tiffers

little silver heart that you once adored

2009-04-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

my locket collection...

current likes:
- jello pudding cups
- getting to wear shorts again
- ohio yard sales
- crushin' from far away
- videochatcideochatvideochatvideochat

current dislikes:
- rain
- madmen season 3 not starting til August
- job hunting
- no date for the Star Trek movie premiere
- the fact that pools aren't open yet and I have a wonderful new bathing suit

Heinlein

2009-04-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

"People do what they want to, every time. If it pains them to make a choice -- if the choice looks like a "sacrifice" -- you can be sure that it is no nobler than the discomfort caused by greediness...the necessity of deciding between two things you want when you can't have both. The ordinary bloke suffers every time he chooses between spending a buck on beer or tucking it away for his kids, between getting up to go to work or losing his job. But he always chooses what hurts least or pleasures most. The scoundrel and the saint make the same choices on a larger scale." (256)

Nashville was amazing. an absolute blast.
Whenever I go there I always feel at home.
It is certainly in the running for places to live after Kentucky.

I have to find a date for the opening night of the new Star Trek movie.

ohhhhhhhhhhh atlanta

2009-04-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

My trip back to atlanta was a time of greatness and long laughs.
While realizing that I won't probably ever return there to live,
some of the people I left behind own very large pieces of my heart.

shots of whiskey. dancing on tables. wooly bully. high school boy hangouts. waffle house. jason. metallica guitar hero. snuggles. laughs. laughs. laughs. laughs.

"I'm probably absolutely insane to sell grey gardens"

2009-04-01T09:30:00.000-07:00

I cannot wait for the remake of Grey Gardens.
The original basically makes me want to sit around singing with my mom in a house full of cats while wearing makeshift capes and fabulous jewelry all day long.
Their daily arguments and performances are probably the most endearing thing I have ever seen.

"Two women can't live together for twenty years without some jealousy. Not that my voice is better than Mother's, but she can't dance." - Little Edie

Little Edie basically owns me heart forever.

What is your favorite department store? "May's, although I haven't been there yet."

Not to mention, my already insane love for Drew Barrymore is going to grow exponentially whenever I get to see the remake.

Ugggggggggh. Will someone please buy me this reproduction of her brooch:

grokking and water sharing

2009-03-23T21:47:00.000-07:00

The beginning of spring puts me in the best mood ever.
I have been spending my days laying by the lake reading Heinlein and Russ.
I visit atlanta in two weeks, with mixed feelings.

I can't stop smiling about something. Can't stop. Won't stop. None of your business.

in other words....

2009-03-22T22:47:00.000-07:00

What's been going on? Oh you know..a lotta this:

I have been invited to join their barony. I am weighing the pros and cons. Oh wait there are no cons. I would get to spin thread, make delicious authentic medieval food, and have men battle for my honor.

wipe the blood away

2009-03-14T11:03:00.000-07:00

So last night I went and saw the remake of Last House On The Left, and was pleasantly surprised at its recreation. As a fan of the original I looked forward to hating it, but honestly it was pretty gnar.

The new additions of a garbage disposal, dad performing surgery (aka jackass from the movie Ghost), krug's brother being fine ass Aaron Paul, and a less brutal rape scene added to the enjoyment. However for some reason I can not see the one victim as anything but the "goldslick" vodka queen from Superbad.

My only two problems with the remake:
1) the mom totally doesnt bite the dude's dick off
2) the bitch in krug's crew is a scrawny crackhead, whereas she was super scary and badass in the first one

I would like to say as my final note about seeing the movie last night that I sat directly behind this jackass redneck with tourettes who proceeded to try and fight everyone in the theater as soon as the movie was over. fuck my life.

Love you Lefleur

2009-03-04T19:11:00.000-08:00

In the past I have loved watching LOST with friends, however there is always a problem because you want to comment out loud but when you do, you can miss dialogue...that is why I now watch it alone and IM with Robley throughout the episode...getting to discuss but not missing anything amazing...this week I have decided to post a small selection from this conversation rather than my feelings about the episode (which was great)...

9:30pm Robley:

my friend cavan is convinced that the power of the island lies in the fact that faraday refuses to take his tie off

9:33pm Tiffany:

i love that you can tell time differences by whether or not sawyer has facial hair
oh fuck

9:36pm Robley:

hostiiiiiiiiles

9:36pm Tiffany:

hostile attaccccck

9:36pm Robley:

how did sawyer earn a house?
do you think faraday lives with him?

9:37pm Tiffany:

by giving every member of dharma a nickname obviously

9:37pm Robley:

come on gimme monster

9:37pm Tiffany:

riiiiiiichard
FUCK...Richard owns my heart

9:37pm Robley:

they let them stay cause they prove themselves in the attack

9:38pm Tiffany:

its already at 20 minutes left and ANOTHER commercial break
hahaah our status' are amazing

(Insert-----Robley Mcdonnell is dharma janitorial material.)

(Insert-----Tiffany isnt dharma material either James, no hard feelings.)

9:42pm Robley:

alright get serious now

9:42pm Tiffany:

back to serious

9:42pm Robley:

RICHARD!

9:42pm Tiffany:

oh shit the truce has been broken...someone is gonna get fucked
bonzaiii hahahahhaahaha

9:43pm Robley:

oh shit what if sawyer started the hard feelings
that lead to the purge

9:43pm Tiffany:

god i love sawyer so much
YES finally he gets real and talks some shit out
people never talk to eachother enough on this show

But this piece of our convo does not include the most gnar part of the entire episode...

Fuck. it is finally the entire four toed statue. Fuck all the LOST haters that decided to jump ship this season. This show is finally giving me all of the things that I have wanted for the past few years.

Righteous Rendezvous

2009-03-01T11:49:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite activities while in Kentucky has been the utilization of the local library...which happens to have a 10 foot bronze statue of Mary Draper Ingles (who was taken captive by Shawnee Indians and brought to a valley near my house) which basically makes her look like a badness wizard/fairy/warrior:

So anyway, the other day I am there checking out Woody Allen joke books and enough Ursula Leguin to make anyone believe they are on the planet of Hain, when I notice two of the cutest boys ever come up on their bikes...I can't stop staring at them and they too are giving me looks of appreciation...then I start to notice how they are both dressed pretty nice for going on a bike ride to the library and have books in their hands already...in fact it looked a little like this:

yes I am insane and was trying to holler at some straight up mormon hotties...once they left I was so bummed I had to check out the second season of Big Love just to gawk at the son Ben...

the life and death of jeremy bentham

2009-02-25T18:00:00.000-08:00

"...because there's a war coming John and if you're not back on that island the wrong side is going to win"

So let me just start by saying that I am over people talking shit on LOST this season...time travel is cool...get a fucking clue...I mean John Locke started off the episode in a wizard cloak, get off it...however an overlooked portion of the show must be discussed...

Walt is seriously so fine now...all grown-up and deep voiced...shittttt...however I will say that I am definitely worried about the fact that John Locke didn't get him for the team, I mean come on he already has some crazy dark powers and now will probably be picked up by the evil team...let's not forget the missing piece involving him being locked in Room 23 with all the dead birds:

I love Walt. I Love John Locke. I love epic battles of good vs. evil. so stoked.

hellos and handshakes (celebrity gosssssssip)

2009-02-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

Uhhh so how about how much Joaquin Phoenix is bumming me out recently. I mean, I basically love his new whole "fuck you media, I'm gonna be a nutbag and totally freak you out..." thing. However, his ways of conveying this message basically make him out to be the dummy...im really not into that.

exhibit a: letterman

exhibit b: rap career (this seriously makes me cringe from embarassment)

Someone needs to take away the pills and give him lots of hugs and smooches...someone like me if you are reading this Joaquin. (If not at least give him some decent rap cds cause it's definitely 2009 and there have been videos of him rapping over Juvenile "Back that Ass up" uggggggggggggggh)

In other celebrity news...my heart was officially broken this week as the engagement of Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore was announced...bummmmer

yeah i know its super cute and all, and i do LOVE her, but seriously? barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf barf.

old time is not a crime

2009-02-07T07:03:00.000-08:00

It has been such a nice change of pace reading the books that I want to read for pure pleasure only. Though the english nerd in me still finds a need to underline and make references to other works in the margin, it is still wonderful. Currently I am reading the following novels:

Asimov - Fantastic Voyage
Lawrence - Lady Chatterley's Lover
Faulkner - As I Lay Dying (this is a re-read but what a good one)

I have taken some pictures to give a photographic representation of where I now live:

I seriously cannot wait for the following things:
- georgia visitors (I get my first monday)
- kentucky springtime
- breakfast
- the next episode of I Love Money 2

the weather outside is frightful

2009-01-27T15:30:00.000-08:00

so yeah I am now experiencing what anyone who has lived with real winter weather is all too aware of...the Sever Snow Emergency...

Basically it started snowing in the middle of the night and I woke up to that this morning...and its only accumulated all day mixing with ice at different times....and for the first time ever I have been exposed to the Snow Emergency Level system...right now we are at a 2...if it goes to a 3 the roads are closed to the public and anyone driving will be subject to arrest.

the north is trippy.

obligatory LOST premiere post

2009-01-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

So basically, last night kicked off the 5th season of LOST with a lot of fulfilling answers to long had questions.

- island caught in a time warp of sorts (the analogy to a record was nice)

-Locke is obviously very important due to his being caught in a different time frequency and also having to die so that they all return

-hurley is basically fucking up hard per usual but being totally lovable while doing it...why would you turn yourself in, especially after anna lucia's ghost tells you "DONT GET ARRESTED"....fucking nutjob

SHIRTLESS SAWYER---seriously like the whole first episode...amazing

- Desmond must find Daniel's mother....so crazy...he will totally have to leave Penny again and I bet that is when Ben will get to her :(

-NEIL "FROGURT" dies in basically the funniest way ever...quit screaming fire dummy...also does anyone else think its funny that his other major roll has been ROACH in the people under the stairs..HAH

Finally....the most important part...

"what happens if i cant get them all to come back?" -- "Then god help us all"

FUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

when I woke up this morning you were on my mind

2009-01-21T11:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a wonderful day in American Politics.

best dude ever.

On a sidenote:

I was watching my daily dose of Roseanne this morning...drooling over my favorite 90's babe ever, aka MARK (Becky's bf/hubby)....

only to find out that my fantasy boyfriend is DEAD. totally DEAD. i am seriously so bummed. what a dummy. heroin is for idiots.

kentucky is for lovers

2009-01-19T15:06:00.000-08:00

I decided to begin a blog along with all of my new beginnings here in Kentucky.

There are 4 things that I would like to discuss in the following entry in no particular order.

a) I have officially moved to the Bluegrass state. It's cold and beautiful and Ive seen some wonderful realtree combination outfits.

b) There is lots of snow up here and in Ohio.

c) Today I turned 24...I feel like an old lady.

d) Word to the wise for all four eyes: If for some reason you are following the bullshit trend of wearing your grandmother's super sized glasses to appear "nerdy" and "funny," please remember that you look about as cool and nonchalant as this girl:

that is all.